June 2013
do you ever just feel so awkward when you buy something and pay in cash and the cashier gives you the change back but you take a few seconds to put the money in your wallet and you can feel the world judging you from afar
I’m glad it isn’t just me
I’m a cashier and let me tell you that nobody cares and nobody is judging you, I love you.
Can you be my cashier forever
what do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?
a pastatute
how many people unfollowed you because of this
20
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
DO U EVER JUST WANNA SCREAM CAUSE SOMEONE IS SOOO FRICKIN CUTE AND U LIKE EM SO MUCH AND U WANNA SMOOCH EM FOREVER GOSH
f- *looks around* fuck the..*sweats profusely* fuck the..the..the police *SWAT team surrounds and invades my house* sorry SORRY
Please excuse my errors in English
It’s my first language please bare with me*bear
It’s only “bare” if the subject is naked.
Technically, you are asking the reader to undress with you.
Please excuse my errors in English
It’s my first language you little shit
superlockedhogwartianinthetardis:
It makes me so angry, that a banana is a berry
what—
OH MY GOD
wat
no
are we not going to talk about an avocado being a berry too??!?
it gets worse, strawberries aren’t berries, they’re “accessory fruits”
EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO RETHINK MY ENTIRE LIFE
TUMBLR STOP RUINING MY PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE
im gonna hire someone to stand behind me and say swag whenever i pause between words
u have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
have you ever been so obsessed with something that it made you angry because you physically cannot shut the fuck up about it
how do you kiss someone who lives really far away please help it’s for science
“Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.”
—Mitch Albom (via fluffynips)
Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I’m a jerk.
DROPPING A SHAMPOO BOTTLE IN THE SHOWER IS ONE OF THE MOST TERRIFYING EXPERIENCES IN LIFE
and I’m going to be an engineer! jeez
that’s a very fascinating piece of information thank u
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
HOT AS FUCK
once my sister was eating pop rocks on my bed and spilled some but forgot to clean it up and apparently some pop rocks got on my pillow bc in the middle of the night i happened to drool and i swear to fucking god there is nothing more terrifying than having pop rocks exploding all up in your face when you are asleep
do u ever realize how ugly u really are and it just ruins ur day
